Friday, February 10, 2017

The 2nd Annual Valentiny Writing Contest!!!

Susanna Leonard Hill is back with her 2nd Annual Valentiny Writing Contest. This time the story must be a maximum 214 words in which someone is confused. Below is my entry. I hope you enjoy it.

The Little Brown-Haired Pig-Tailed Girl
197 words

Charlie Brown had his little red-haired girl and Eddie had his little brown-haired pig-tailed girl.

They met almost every day on their walk home from school. They would walk and talk until they reached her house. Yet Eddie never asked her name.

He had become quite fond of her. Today he would ask her to be his Valentine and learn her name.

He walked up to her door with flowers and a heart shaped box full of candy in hand. He took a deep breath and pressed the doorbell. “Ding dang dong,” it chimed.

His heart pounded in his chest in sync with the footsteps that rapidly approached the door.

The door swung open to reveal the little brown-haired pig-tailed girl and her twin sister. Or vice versa.

Confused, he reached out with the candy and flowers and asked with a crack in his voice, “Will you be my Valentine?”

The girls smiled and responded in unison, “Yes!”

His eyes went wide and his jaw dropped.

The girls took the flowers and candy and giggled as they closed the door.

Eddie trudged home both happy and puzzled. He still didn’t know the little brown-haired pig-tailed girls name.

48 comments:

  1. So funny, Greg! I hope he learns her (their) names soon, poor guy!

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    1. Thank you Judy. Maybe by the time the Halloween writing contest comes around, he will know their names.

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  2. Fun! I really felt his confusion. (By the way, I loved "You're in Love, Charlie Brown" when I was a kid.)

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  3. What a dilemma he has! Fun story!

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  4. This made me laugh! Great rid don the theme of confusion and very spot-on kid POV, lots of times they don't know each others name. Good luck.

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    1. I'm happy to read it made you laugh. =) Thank you Kathy.

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  5. That was so cute! It gave me a good chuckle. Good luck, Greg!

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  6. Love it! Adorable and how fun. Two valentines!! My original story was going to be about twins too. Nicely written. I enjoyed it.

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  7. Hey Greg,

    I enjoyed your story. Makes me think of that Double Mint Gum commercial.

    Ken

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    1. Thanks Ken. I forgot all about that commercial.

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  8. Too funny! I'm thinking that Eddie is double-lucky!

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  9. Poor Eddie! Not only he does he not know her name, he doesn't know which one is the one he likes! Cute story clearly with the requisite confusion! Good luck!

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  10. Funny twist, Gregory! Very Charlie Brown-esque -- well done!

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  11. Ha. Not the ending I expected at all. Good work.

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  12. Haha! Great job in making us feel the confusion, Gregory. Your story made me smile. Good luck in the Valentiny contest!

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    1. Glad it made you smile Kate. =) Thanks for stopping by.

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  13. What a stud - scored double Valentines! Didn't see that coming. Nice work!

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  14. wow, I understand his confusion. Whatever will he do?
    I wish you well with this story.

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  15. Poor Eddie. He has until next year to learn her name. May he find bravery before then. Cute story. Good luck!

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    1. Thank you Traci. We'll see what happens by next year's contest. =)

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  16. Eddie has VERY good odds for finding his Valentine! Or maybe more than one! Well done.

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  17. Oh that's so cute! Double the valentine confusion:)

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    1. I didn't look at it that way. =) Thank you Lauri.

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  18. Reminds me of those old Doublemint gum commercials...poor Eddie...now he's got double trouble and he doesn't even know it. Fun story that pulled me in, Gregory. ;)

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    1. I remember those commercials well. Thanks Vivian.

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  19. Very clever. I wonder if Eddie walked each of the twins home, or just one! Hope there's a sequel.

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    1. Thanks Joanne. I'll see what I can come up with for a sequel.

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  20. Very enjoyable and a fun ending. Now what's he going to do?

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    1. Thanks David. I guess that will be determined in next year's contest.

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  21. Now THAT is confusion, Greg! You left me wondering... did Eddie walk home with the same twin every day? Or had he inadvertently been courting both?! And imagine his surprise at seeing double! Well done :) Thanks so much for joining in the Valentiny fun!

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